…AND SO THE LITTLE RABBIT QUICKLY DUCKED INTO A BUSH TO HIDE FROM THE SCARY FARMER AND HIS DOGS.
HEY DAD… WILL THIS STORY HAVE A HAPPY ENDING?
WELL… IF YOU INSIST.
*PTOOEY*
Cyanide and Happiness © Explosm.net
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Hallmark Movie
woman: i have a high paying job in new york city that i love and christmas isn’t that important to me
her black friend: you need a MAN
woman’s dad: come to the small town,, we are suffering without a baker for our town festivale
woman: ok dad
man: i harvest maple syrup for a living and make 2 dollars a year
woman: :/
man: will you harvest maple syrup with me…
woman: i’ve decided i hate my job and i’m going to resign myself to making christmas tree ornaments in fuckberg for the rest of my life
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Kids Eat Free
Waiter: ‘I just wanted to let you know that kids eat for free.’
Me: ‘Good. I’ll have a water and my daughter will have the steak and a kids Bud Light.’
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Sweet Home Alabama Caroline
Sweet Home Alabama vs Sweet Caroline… White People… Me: Sweet Child O Mine
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Toilet Paper Cardboard
Runs out of toilet paper
Helpful redditors: This poor fella is doing it all wrong. Ya just stick the cardboard roll up your ass and poop thru the tube so no shit ever touches your butthole.
My genius has come alive.
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Cucumbers Vegan
When my wife sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think that I’m a vegan.
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Back In My Day Hippies
BaCk iN mY DaY wE WeReN’t sO eAsiLy oFfEndEd
Back in your day: LONG HAIR IS COMMUNISM STOP HIPPIES MARCH OF THE CHRIST MOVE THEM HIPPIES NORTH
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Die Positive Surroundings
The doctor said if i can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die.
I’m going to die.
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Rest In Peace
Wife: Babe you know if you die, I’m definitely coming with you.
Husband: I can’t even rest in peace.
