I taught my testicles to sing the blues. It kinda makes sense, as that’s the color they are most of the time.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop
It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop shoot” are pretty much the same thing, but it turns out that they aren’t. Also, sometimes when something happens in Vegas, word spreads to Atlantic City.
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Tip for the guys: If you’re hung like a mouse, don’t get waxed;
Tip for the guys: If you’re hung like a mouse, don’t get waxed; the technician may mistake your member for an unusually tough pube.
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Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s
Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s along the lines of, “Because of the infected calluses, use Lefty this week.”
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I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like
I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like “When do you get off?” or “Hey, wanna fuck me on the copier?”
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I can’t believe that dude was offended when I asked him if he
I can’t believe that dude was offended when I asked him if he enjoyed doing doggy styles. I guess pet groomers are just thin-skinned.
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At first I wanted my son to become the best golfer in the world
At first I wanted my son to become the best golfer in the world so he could become rich and respected. Now I want him to become the best golfer in the world so he can introduce me to some lusciously sweet hos.
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All of my men know the Rule of Tits: I have the tits; therefore,
All of my men know the Rule of Tits: I have the tits; therefore, I rule.
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I’m developing a “super fast-acting” laxative for all of us
I’m developing a “super fast-acting” laxative for all of us ultra-busy people. So far I only have the marketing campaign: “Colonow — ’cause you got shit to do!”
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I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I
I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I suppose I need to find someone to do that for me.
