If I were a woman, I’d want to be a lesbian so I could still be turned down by women I want to sleep with. Over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at handling that kind of rejection.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I think my boyfriend was upset about the anatomically correct
I think my boyfriend was upset about the anatomically correct snow replica I sculpted of him. Maybe it was that baby carrot.
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I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but*
I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but* complimentary to tell her that she tasted “vulvalicious.”
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I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the
I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the clerk at Lowe’s “I need caulk.”
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My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him
My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him when we’re having sex. Problem is, I don’t talk with my mouth full.
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bowel movement and the series of “Batman” movies they made back
bowel movement and the series of “Batman” movies they made back in the 1990s: They both went on a lot longer than I expected.
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I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange
I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange little voice whispering to him: “Build it and they will cum.”
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Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a
Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a standing ovation, but “that don’t help the houses get built!” according to my douchebag Habitat for Humanity supervisor.
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I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies
I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies.
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I think that woman at the animal shelter is overreacting. I
I think that woman at the animal shelter is overreacting. I never said I wanted to adopt a kitten; I said I wanted a little pussy.
