At first I wanted my son to become the best golfer in the world so he could become rich and respected. Now I want him to become the best golfer in the world so he can introduce me to some lusciously sweet hos.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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All of my men know the Rule of Tits: I have the tits; therefore,
All of my men know the Rule of Tits: I have the tits; therefore, I rule.
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I’m developing a “super fast-acting” laxative for all of us
I’m developing a “super fast-acting” laxative for all of us ultra-busy people. So far I only have the marketing campaign: “Colonow — ’cause you got shit to do!”
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I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I
I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I suppose I need to find someone to do that for me.
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If I were a woman, I’d want to be a lesbian so I could still be
If I were a woman, I’d want to be a lesbian so I could still be turned down by women I want to sleep with. Over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at handling that kind of rejection.
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I think my boyfriend was upset about the anatomically correct
I think my boyfriend was upset about the anatomically correct snow replica I sculpted of him. Maybe it was that baby carrot.
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I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but*
I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but* complimentary to tell her that she tasted “vulvalicious.”
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I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the
I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the clerk at Lowe’s “I need caulk.”
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My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him
My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him when we’re having sex. Problem is, I don’t talk with my mouth full.
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bowel movement and the series of “Batman” movies they made back
bowel movement and the series of “Batman” movies they made back in the 1990s: They both went on a lot longer than I expected.
