Sensitivity: Questionable

Questionable humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Pastor Fuzz

    The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer.

    The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman. “Mrs. Fitzgerald,” the reverend said sternly. “This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?”

    “Shure,” she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.

    When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.

    The bartender looked over the bar and said, “Here, here, buddy, we won’t have any of that carrying on in this bar.”

    The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, “But you don’t understand, I’m Pastor Fuzz.”

    The bartender nodded. “Well, if you’re that far you may as well finish.”

  • What Her Drink Says About Her

    Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

    Drink: Beer
    Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
    Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

    Drink: Blender Drinks
    Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
    Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

    Drink: Mixed Drinks
    Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
    Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her. She’ll send YOU a drink.

    Drink: Wine (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
    Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
    Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years… Alzheimer’s and term limits be damned.

    Drink: White Zin
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
    Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is…

    Drink: Shots
    Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk… and naked.
    Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

  • Your Tit Is Hanging in the Ashtray

    A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, “Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.”

    The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drank in one gulp.

    “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy.” Again, the bartender brought her a Martini.

    By this time the lady was leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She called, “Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn.”

    Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, “Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martoutsy, but a Martini, and finally, you do not have heartburn — your tit is hanging in the ashtray.”

  • Definitely

    A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY.

    She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely.’ Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I want some volunteers to use definitely in a statement.”

    Little Suzy raises her hand and says, “I am definitely going to the park after school today.”

    “No, I would think there’s a good chance you’ll go to the park, but it might rain, so it’s not definitely.”

    Little Billy raises his hand and says, “My team is definitely going to win the game this Saturday.”

    “No, I know you really want your team to win the game this Saturday, but wanting is not enough to make it definitely.”

    Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Miss, is there such a thing as a lumpy fart?”

    “No.”

    “Then I definitely just shat myself.”

  • 3.8 Billion Women

    3.8 Billion Women

    3.8 billion women on the planet…

    You’d Think it would be clean by now.

  • Birth Control Drug

    Birth Control Drug

    When she crushes up her birth control an snorts it:

    Drug

  • Killer Beatboxer

    Killer Beatboxer

    when yo girl is a killer beatboxer

  • Job Interview Today

    Job Interview Today

    My Girlfriend is so sweet. She sent me this pic from her job interview today. Good luck

  • So Many Fucking Idiots

    So Many Fucking Idiots

    Salesman: *slaps USA* you can fit so many fucking idiots in this bad boy

  • Anal Bead Tug-O-War

    Anal Bead Tug-O-War

    ANAL BEAD TUG-O-WAR Tuesday Night