Word to the wise: When a longtime friend confesses his scatological fetish to you, it is NOT appropriate to respond by saying, “I don’t give a shit.”
Sensitivity: Questionable
Questionable humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me
Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me masturbate, after he thanks me I like to say, “Happy to lend a helping finger!”
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Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer
Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer table: mundane. A three-hole punch on an S&M; buffet table: nasty.
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Apparently, to my husband “Happy Valentine’s Day” means “Yes!
Apparently, to my husband “Happy Valentine’s Day” means “Yes! I’m finally getting anal!”
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I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties,
I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties, but apparently “lipstick” is already taken.
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My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of
My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of sex from the man with the world’s smallest penis. She didn’t know she had it in her.
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The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra
The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra coffee and lotion delivered to my room, but, hey, I may be on vacation, but my penis isn’t!
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Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.
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My buddy thought I was nuts when we spotted an extremely large
My buddy thought I was nuts when we spotted an extremely large woman and I said, “Man! I’d like to get all up in dat!” What he doesn’t understand is that my comment was actually about my return-to-the-womb issues.
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When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally
When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally probed. I don’t remember what the alien looked like, though, because it disguised itself as my wrestling coach and forced me to drink a mind-control drug from a tequila bottle.
