Questionable humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
“I have two pieces of bad news,” the doctor says.
“What are they?”
“Well, the first piece of news is that you have cancer.”
“What’s the second piece of news?” he asks.
“Well, the second piece of bad news is that you have Alzheimer’s.”
The man laughs and says, “Well, at least I don’t have cancer.”
Woman: “Doc, I’m farting constantly! No smell and no sound. Since I came in, I must have farted at least 20 times. I bet you never noticed?”
Doctor: “I got it, I got it. I’ll write you a prescription for some medicine. Come back next week.”
A week later:
Woman: “Doc, what the hell did you give me? Now my farts are still silent, but they reek like hell!!”
Doctor: “Perfect! Your stuffy nose is all better. Now we just need to take care of your hard of hearing.”
Why is a small cruise ship like a guy suffering from premature ejaculation?
Both of them only need a couple of tugs.
How do you respond to someone calling you a grammar Nazi?
You call them antisemantic!
Tigers have “false eyes” on the back of their ears to discourage predators from attacking them from behind
I am slightly less terrified of tigers and 1000x more terrified of whatever the fuck a tiger considers a predator
That Bitch Carole Baskins
u ever drink water rlly intensely n it's dripping down ur chin n shit but ur lettin it and in that moment u really and truly are a dirty slut for water
