Carrots are good for your memory.
Get one shoved in your ass and you won’t forget it.
Sensitivity: Uncensored
Uncensored humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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One Shot Tequila Mcdonalds
Fuck it, one shot of tequila won’t hurt
3 hours later:
Man Kicked Out Of McDonalds For Putting His D*ck In A Burger And Yelling THIS IS REAL MEAT, YOU F*CKERS!
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Beat A Motherfucker With Another Motherfucker
I’LL BEAT A MOTHERFUCKER….
WITH ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER!!!
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Alakazam Let Me Slam
Me: wanna fuck? 👀
Her: Why do u have to say it like that? Its supposed to be a magical moment
Me: Alakazam let me slam
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Heroin Balloon Butt
When you’re fucking a girl in the butt and a balloon of heroin plops out
Don’t mind if I do.
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I Need a Handsaw
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.
The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his cock, starts masturbating and points at it.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, “What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!”
The other guy says, “I knew that! I was just trying to tell you – I’m coming!”
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Bryan County Bond
BRYAN COUNTY JAIL
WOMAN IN BRYAN COUNTY SUCKS OFF MAN’S PENIS
Doyle Hargraves
HOW MUCH IS HER BOND?
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Quickies: Crude Jokes for Adults Only
Quickies
Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.Q: What’s the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it’s a shame to pull it out.Q: What’s the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.Q: What’s the ultimate rejection?
A: When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio’s face, and moaning, “Lie to me!”Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P.Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: “How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago.”Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?
A: If you’re Eveready, I’m Frito Lay.Q: What’s another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill-doughQ: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
