Cheeky humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
An older neighbor runs into Little Johnny as he’s coming home from school
“How are you, Johnny?”
“Fine.”
“And how is school?”
“Fine.”
“And how are your parents doing?”
“Fine.”
“Tell me, do you have any other words in your vocabulary besides ‘Fine’?”
“Dad said I’m not allowed to say ‘Fuck Off’ yet.”
Why was the musician arrested? He got in treble.
I asked a Scottish guy to name all the women he slept with.
He fell asleep.
Three men were comparing how dumb their blonde wives were.
The first man said, “My wife is so dumb, she can’t do math past the third-grade level!”
The second man said, “Oh yeah? My wife is so dumb, she thinks Cheerios are earrings!”
The third man said, “I’ve got you both beat! My wife is so dumb, she was packing to go on a girls trip last week, and she must have packed a hundred condoms. And she doesn’t even have a single penis!”
Before the crowbar was invented, I bet that crows used to just drink at home.
My cousin was going on and on about how an onion is the only food that can make you cry without eating it. So I hit him in the face with a coconut.
Turns out when my manager said that “You can be really irritating at work sometimes” that wasn’t them giving me permission…..
I asked a friend, “Did you know that there’s a fruit that gives you your entire potassium requirement for the day?”
He said: “Yeah, that’s bananas.”
I responded: “I know. I was shocked too.”
