At the airport, a man handed over three suitcases.
“One to LA, one to Boston, and one to Orlando.”
The check-in agent said, “Sir, we can’t split up your luggage like that.”
He said, “Why not? You managed it perfectly on my last flight.”
Tone: cheeky
Cheeky humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Grandma’s Photo Suggestion
A man moves into a nudist colony.
A few days later, he receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send a recent photo of himself in his new home.
Embarrassed to let her know he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.
The next day, he realizes he accidentally sent the bottom half.
He panics, but then remembers how poor his grandmother’s eyesight is and hopes she won’t notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from her.
It reads:
My dearest grandson,
It was so wonderful to receive your letter and picture. It made my whole week, and I’m so happy to see you’re settling into your new home.
I do have one small suggestion, though. You should really change your hairstyle. It makes your nose look too short.
Love always,
Grandma -
The Bald Man and the Forest
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…
He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”
“What I want you to do…” the man continued. “Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
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Military Family Tradition
On the first day of boot camp, a US Army drill instructor lined up his recruits.
“I’m curious as to how many of you come from military families. Did anyone in your family serve?” He points at one recruit.
“Yes sir!” The recruit answers. “My father served in Iraq during the War on Terror.”
“Good,” says the D.I. “What about you?” He points at another recruit.
“Yes sir!” The recruit answers. “My grandfather served in Desert Storm.”
“Good,” says the D.I. “What about you?” He points at another recruit.
“Yes sir!” The recruit answers. “My great-great grandfather fought at Normandy!”
“Ah, the finest day in the history of the United States military,” the D.I. says. “1st Infantry? 82nd Airborne?”
“No sir,” the recruit answers. “The 21st Panzer division.”
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Sick Duck
What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One’s a sick duck and I can’t remember how it ends, but your mother’s a whore.
