Tone: cheeky

The new employee reluctantly agrees.

While he is alone, he sells a white dildo, a black dildo, and then a plaid one from the shelf for $165.

Finally, the guy’s boss returns and asks, “How did you do while I was gone?”

The salesman says, “I think I did good. I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!”

“No…”

“Well, you can’t have any.”

Later, the little boy sees his Grandpa drinking beer and asks, “Can I have a swig?” Grandpa replies again, “Can your dick touch your asshole?”

“No…”

“Well, you can’t have any.”

The boy goes into the kitchen and is eating cookies when his Grandpa walks in.

“Can I have a cookie?” asks Grandpa.

“Can your dick touch your asshole?”

Grandpa says, “As a matter of fact, it can!”

The little boy replies, “Well then, you can go fuck yourself. These are MY cookies.”

The first girlfriend went out and got herself a total makeover. She told him, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.”

The second girlfriend went shopping and got the man new golf clubs, an iPad, and an 80-inch flat-screen TV. She said, “I got these gifts for you because I love you so much.”

The third girlfriend took the $5,000, invested it in the stock market, doubled her investment, returned the $5,000, and reinvested the rest. She said, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”

The man thought long and hard about how each of his girlfriends had spent the money, and then he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.