Cheeky humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Lil’ Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses’ legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Pop, why are you doing that?”
“Because I’m thinking of buying these horses.”
Johnny looked worried, “Then I think we’d better hurry home right away!”
“Why?” his father asked.
“Because the milkman stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy Mom!”
Waiter: ‘I just wanted to let you know that kids eat for free.’
Me: ‘Good. I’ll have a water and my daughter will have the steak and a kids Bud Light.’
When my wife sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think that I’m a vegan.
When she’s getting ready to show you the advantages of dating an older woman…
Switching jobs from service dog to drug sniffing dog is the best decision I ever made. Oh yeah, woof, or something.
My psalms are sweaty knees weak, cross is heavy
last supper is ready it’s lord’s spaghetti
