The past, the present, and the future all walk into a bar at the same time.
It was tense…
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Just my luck, I picked up the *karma* sutra book instead of the *kama* sutra. I guess what cums around goes around.
Consumer advice: They cost a little more,
It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop shoot” are pretty much the same thing, but it turns out that they aren’t. Also, sometimes when something happens in Vegas, word spreads to Atlantic City.
I came, I saw, I came again. This porno theater is cool!
Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance, “Kalashnikov” is surely some kind of sexual perversion. And if “autofellatio” isn’t the name of a weapon, it oughta be.
I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck” before “shit” except after “cocksucker,” or the other way around?
I’m developing a “super fast-acting” laxative for all of us ultra-busy people. So far I only have the marketing campaign: “Colonow — ’cause you got shit to do!”
My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him when we’re having sex. Problem is, I don’t talk with my mouth full.
My boyfriend ran out on me. Luckily I’d used rechargeable batteries.