Tone: Clever

Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think

When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think it he was talking about the effect of sleep on morning wood.
Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to

Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to the quarter slots. What I ended up with was a two-bit hooker.
What I did to that hooker last night was so epic, it’ll go down

What I did to that hooker last night was so epic, it’ll go down in the anals of history.
“Who do I have to blow to get some help around here?” works

“Who do I have to blow to get some help around here?” works great in a bar, but not so much at Confession.
I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my

I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my Cap’n Crunch vibrator.
Absinthe makes the schlong grow harder

Absinthe makes the schlong grow harder.
My boyfriend won’t stop staring at me when I brush my teeth. I

My boyfriend won’t stop staring at me when I brush my teeth. I swear I’m never again buying a toothbrush that’s an exact replica of his hard cock.
(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik

(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik Wood” has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction? Live and learn.
I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I

I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I unexpectedly got a really fierce hard-on. Sure, it was kind of embarrassing, but at least I had somewhere to put the pineapple rings when I went for seconds at the buffet.
It’s amazing what a single letter can do. A trumpet is an thing

It’s amazing what a single letter can do. A trumpet is an thing that you blow, but if you put a single “s” in front of it, it becomes something that blows you.