Nintendo switch $40
I’m Interested
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Imagine Asian
I used to think I had a Japanese friend.
But it was just my imagine Asian.
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Weathermen Are Like New Brides
Standing at checkout at the local hardware store. The old guy in line ahead of me was asked by the cashier about the upcoming snowstorm forecast.
“Weathermen are like new brides,” the old man said. “Neither has any idea how many inches they’ll get or how long it’ll last.”
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Open Mike Night
I’m hosting an autopsy club meeting tonight!
It’s “Open Mike Night”!
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Beat Me Half to Death
A guy finds an old lamp and gives it a rub. A genie pops out.
The genie says, “I will grant you three wishes, but there are rules. One wish has to be good for you, two have to be bad for you. And whatever you wish for, your ex-wife gets double.”
The guy thinks for a second and says, “Alright. For my first wish, I want a million-dollar mansion sitting on one hundred acres, with a safe inside that has ten million dollars in it.”
The genie snaps his fingers. “Done. And your ex-wife now has a two-million-dollar ranch on two hundred acres with a safe holding twenty million.”
The guy shakes his head but says, “Okay. For my second wish, I want you to give my ex-wife half of everything I have.”
The genie looks at him for a moment, then snaps again. “Done. Which means she now has to give you all of hers.”
The guy smiles. “Perfect.”
The genie says, “Alright, last wish. This one has to be bad for you.”
The guy takes a breath and says, “Fine. I want you to beat me half to death.”
The genie pauses, looks at him, then slowly smiles.
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Dangers of Eating Azz
How’s your head
I haven’t had any complaints
THE DANGERS OF EATING AZZ @sericxapp
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No Place to Park
I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants…
…but I had to quit. There was no place to park.
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Tough Shit
A constipated man goes to the pharmacy for laxatives.
Man: “One box of laxatives, please?”
Pharmacist: “I’m sorry. We’re all out of stock.”
Man: “What, again?! How does this keep happening?! I’m desperate for some relief!”
Pharmacist: “Well, that’s tough shit, I’m afraid.”
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Pick It Up Along the Way
Do you have to have any special training to be a garbage man, or do you just pick it up along the way?
