I entered a lottery to win an entire shopping center, but I failed.
I guess you can’t win a mall.
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Same Name
I should be happy because I have a new girlfriend. The problem is she has the same name as my sister. So every time we have sex now…
…all I think about is my new girlfriend.
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My frog impression
I’ll never forget what my granddad said to me before he croaked.
He said, “Hey kid, wanna hear my frog impression?” -
Just Found Out My Girlfriend Is Cheating
Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me 😞
@shitheadsteve
Huh?
Jesus that sucks
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The Sperm Count
An 85-year-old man had to take a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave him a jar and said, “Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow.” The next day, the man returned to the office and handed him the jar, which was as clean and empty as the day before.
The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained,
“Well, doc, it’s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then my left, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left — nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then the teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too — first with both hands, then an armpit, she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees — but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep. None of us could get the jar open!”
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CILT Simulation
I know. That’s how I read it at first.
CILT SIMULATION FORUM EVENT THIS WAY
Sheffield Hallam University
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The Times are rough
I’ve run out of toilet paper, so I’ve started using old newspaper…
The Times are rough. -
Ancient grease
An archaeologist found a 2,000-year-old oil stain.
Ancient grease.
