– Do you have a doctor here?
– yes, I’m.
– What’s your specialty?
– I’m a doctor in Mathematics.
– My friend is dying.
– Minus one.
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Someone Finally Wrote a Book on Clock Fetishes – It’s About Fucking Time
WOW someone finally wrote a book on clock fetishes
it’s about fucking time
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I Don’t Think Giving Him a Gun Is the Right Choice Creatively – Paddington 3
Al Kennedy @housetoastonish
I love these movies but I don’t think giving him a gun is the right choice, creatively
IGN @IGN · 07 Jul 21
Paddington 3 will begin shooting in 2022.
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I Struck Down a Jedi – Yes Use Your Hate
Gringo Brulee @GringoBrulee
Wife: wtf is this pile of clothes doing on the floor?
Me: I struck down a Jedi.
W: god I hate you.
M: yes, use your hate
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Game Show Idea: 11 Gay Men and 1 Straight Man – None of the Men Are Actually Gay
Game Show Idea:
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn’t gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left, or the straight man is out. If the gays manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the 2 last people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.
Now here’s the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just all think they are the one straight man.
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Got My Ancestry.com Results – Trader Joe’s Cracker Assortment
res judicatie @cat_i_e
got my ancestry dot com results
TRADER JOE’S
Cracker Assortment
FOUR INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED VARIETIES
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My Fish Is Very Dry – We Had to Take Him Out of the Water – Smart
john @mrjohndarby
me: my fish is very dry
waiter: yes, we had to take him out of the water
me: smart
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Shark vs Me in a Triathlon – It Would All Come Down to Who Is the Better Cyclist
Emma Manzini @EmmaManzini
A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
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Your Jew-Jitsu Is Strong But Feel the Power of My Nun-Chucks
Your Jew-Jitsu is strong, but feel the power of my…
