Tone: dark

Dark jokes, grim memes, and humor with the lights off and the judgment missing from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Parents Find S&M Gear in Son’s Room

    A mother and father are digging through their son’s room looking for drugs. The father finds a box full of leather, chains, and S&M magazines.

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    Mother: Oh my god! What do we do?

    Father: Whatever you do, don’t fucking spank him.

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  • A Corvette and a Dead Hooker

    What’s the difference between a Corvette and a dead hooker?

    I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

  • Dead Baby in a Clown Suit

    What’s funnier than a dead baby?

    A dead baby in a clown suit.

  • The Difference Between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson

    What was the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

    Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucked kids.

  • A 9-Volt Battery and an Asshole

    What does a 9-volt battery and an asshole have in common?

    If you lick it, and nothing happens, it’s probably dead.

  • Locking Your Keys in Your Car at an Abortion Clinic

    What’s more embarrassing than locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

  • My first girlfriend never stopped counting, so I broke up with her.

    My first girlfriend never stopped counting, so I broke up with her.

    I wonder what she’s up to?

  • It’s a Boy

    It was 10 years ago today my best mate James came running out of the room shouting, “It’s a boy!” with tears streaming down his face.

    We never went back to Thailand.

  • Waiting at the Bottom of the Bridge

    A beautiful woman was upset with her life, and about to throw herself off a bridge.

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    Before she worked up the courage to make that final leap, an obscenely hideous, creepy, stinky homeless chud of a man approached. He got quite near to her and shouted, “WHAT’N THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” She replied, “Get away from me, I’ve had it with this life and I’m going to die while I still have my dignity.” He says, “YOU AUGHTA LET ME BE THE LAST GUY TO FUCK YOU BEFORE YOU DIE.” She recoiled in horror and responded, “There is absolutely no way that will be my last act on this earth, now leave me in peace!” He says, “OKAY LADY, HAVE IT YOUR WAY. I’LL JUST GO WAIT FOR YOU AT THE BOTTOM DOWN THERE.”

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  • Walking Home From the Local in Belfast

    A man was walking home from his local in Belfast when he felt something prod in his back and a voice whisper in his ear, “Tell me. Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

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    He gulped and said nothing.

    The voice angrily whispered, “Tell me! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

    The man shat himself a little and thought, it’s fifty fifty if I live if I tell the truth or lie.

    The thing in his back was pushed harder, the voice now much louder, “Tell me! Are you Catholic or Protestant!?”

    In a very quiet voice the man says, “I’m a Jewish boy” and the voice behind him says, “I must be the luckiest Arab in Belfast tonight!”

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