Helen Keller and her beloved cat, ‘Mittens’
Tone: ironic
Ironic humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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No Mother Robs Store
NO MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TO FEAR FOR HER SON’S LIFE EVERY TIME HE ROBS A STORE
RESIST AND !!
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Back In My Day Hippies
BaCk iN mY DaY wE WeReN’t sO eAsiLy oFfEndEd
Back in your day: LONG HAIR IS COMMUNISM STOP HIPPIES MARCH OF THE CHRIST MOVE THEM HIPPIES NORTH
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Black Republican Committee
Did you bring the black guy? No… did you? I thought you had him.
DURHAM REPUBLICAN PARTY
BLACK REPUBLICAN COMMITTEE
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Is That All You People Think About
Two elderly Jewish men are strolling down the street one day, when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, “Convert to Catholicism and get $50.”
Murray stops and stares at the sign. Abe turns to him and says, “Murray, what’s going on?”
“Abe,” replies Murray, “I’m thinking of doing it.”
Abe says, “What are you, crazy?”
Murray thinks for a minute and says, “Abe, I’m going to do it.”
With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed.
“So,” asks Abe, “did you convert?”
“Yes I did,” says Murray.
“Did you get your fifty dollars?” asks Abe.
And Murray says, “Is that all you people think about?”
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Spain and Portugal Fit Like a Glove
Continental drift is no mere theory; it is fact. Forget about trying to fit Africa and South America together — just look at how Spain’s jagged western border fits Portugal’s jagged eastern border like a glove. Coincidence? Please.
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The Taxi Driver
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”
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We’ve All Got It
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.”
“Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed. “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”
“But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.”
“Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.
“Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.”
“Oh crap!” the physician roared. “That means we’ve all got it!”
