Sassy Little Jenny tilts her head and asks, “Mom, what’s that?” as she points at her silver vibrator.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosTone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Weekly Overload Recreational Killer
A highly dangerous virus called “Weekly Overload Recreational Killer” (WORK) is currently going around.
If you come into contact with this WORK virus, you should immediately go to the nearest “Biological Anxiety Relief” (BAR) center to take the antidotes known as “Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract” (WINE), “Radioactive UnWork Medicine” (RUM), “Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter” (BEER), or “Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen” (VODKA).
Stay alert and warn your friends.
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To Get More Chalk
Mike told Sarah he had the strangest dream last night.
She asked what happened.
He said he died and was walking up this huge staircase to heaven.
She replied, “Okay… that’s already intense.”
He continued that at the bottom they handed him a piece of chalk.
Sarah asked, “Chalk? For what?”
Mike explained they said, “Mark a step for every sin you’ve committed.”
She said, “Wow… that’s terrifying.”
He replied, “Yeah… I only got a few steps up…”
She asked, “And then?”
Mike said, “Then I saw you… running down the stairs.”
Sarah exclaimed, “WHAT?! Why was I going down?!”
Mike answered, “…to get more chalk.”
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A Hundred Dollar Bill
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, “Where in the hell have you been?” He replies, “I was out getting a tattoo.”
“A tattoo?” she frowned. “What kind of tattoo did you get?”
“I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,” he said proudly.
“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain. “Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?”
“Well,” Larry replied, “for one, I like to watch my money grow; two, once in a while I like to play with my money; three, I like how money feels in my hand; and lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime.”
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It Hurts When They Boil Their Nipples
Why don’t blondes like to breastfeed their children?
Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.
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This Is Going to Be Loud
A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened?
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