Tone: irreverent

Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

If you’re ever of a mind to use a little saliva of your T.P. to

If you’re ever of a mind to use a little saliva of your T.P. to blunt the scratch of it across your ass, you might want to stay focused on the whole “lick, wipe, lick, wipe” order of the event chain.
I’d like to be crowned Ms. Filthy Ruminations. Instead of a

I’d like to be crowned Ms. Filthy Ruminations. Instead of a sash, I think I’d wear some crotchless panties and sparkly pasties. Now who do I bribe to get the title?
You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately

You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a

Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a standing ovation, but “that don’t help the houses get built!” according to my douchebag Habitat for Humanity supervisor.
I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to

I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to sort of artfully slip my heel in several times until it felt just right. That’s when I thought to myself: This is a lot like fucking.
I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies

I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies.
So which is worse: Telling your wife that her 86-year-old great

So which is worse: Telling your wife that her 86-year-old great aunt “accidentally” touched your junk when you were pity-dancing with her at the wedding reception, or that you cut off your johnson with a plastic knife in the reception hall’s bathroom in order to make sure such a nightmarish vignette never plays out again?
I’d love it if some strippers banded together for a “Tits For a

I’d love it if some strippers banded together for a “Tits For a Cure” fundraiser/awareness project for some kind of disease or cause or something. I could sure get on board with that.
I’ve found that a good way to get out of a boring staff meeting

I’ve found that a good way to get out of a boring staff meeting well in advance is to warn all parties about the potential of a “brutal mudbutt incident.”
Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to

Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to look like the buildings surrounding the Leaning Tower of Pisa.