Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • 14 Dollars of Soda

    14 Dollars of Soda

    vivivictoria: hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos

    im thorsty

    vivivictoria: He better not fucking have

    YOUR ORDER IS IN THE OVEN – Majkiiwis put your order in the oven at 2:47 PM.

  • Quit Making Spectacles of Yourselves

    A monocle strolls into a bar. After a couple of drinks, he starts feeling pretty great (and a bit unsteady). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender cuts him off. “Sorry, pal, but city rules ban smoking inside. You’ll have to go outside if you want to smoke.”

    So the monocle jumps down from the bar stool and picks up his cigarettes to head out. At the same time, a second monocle comes out of the bathroom. They collide as they pass each other and tumble to the ground, completely twisted together. They attempt to untangle themselves, but the harder they try, the more knotted they get.

    The bartender stares down at the mess and shakes his head. “Hey, you two!” he yells. “Quit making spectacles of yourselves!”

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  • Yes, We Arson

    Kid: Dad, are we pyromaniacs?

    Dad: Yes, we arson.

  • Shout Out to Librarians

    I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…

    …oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.

  • Prophets Going Through the Roof

    I just opened a store selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats.

    Prophets are going through the roof!

  • Hit the Roof

    I told my wife that I’ve swapped our bed for a trampoline.

    She hit the roof!

  • Moo Goo Gai Pan

    While lying in bed, the chef of the Chinese restaurant nudged his wife, saying, “I wouldn’t mind a little 69 right now.”

    His wife, who works as a server, turned her back, saying, “If you think I’m gonna get out of bed at this time of night to make you moo goo gai pan, you’re crazy.”

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  • Fascinate

    A teacher asks little Johnny to say a sentence using the word “fascinate.”

    Little Johnny: “My sister’s boobs are so big that when she puts on her shirt with ten buttons, she can only fasten eight.”

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  • Bumpin Dakota

    Bumpin Dakota

    BUMPIN DAKOTA MINNESOTA WISCONSIN MICHIGAN Chicago Toronto OHIO Kansis City KANSAS OKLAHOMA Dallas Houston Louisiana GEORGIA FLORIDA MEXICO Google

    M’ikez 2/28/17

  • To California

    To California

    To: CALIFORNIA

    Dab.