Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • A Brief Job

    I worked as an underwear model…

    It was just a brief job.

  • Tom Jones and the Siamese Twins

    A pair of drop-dead gorgeous female Siamese twins who were joined at the hip saw the ad for the concert in the local paper. One of them said, “Hey, Tom Jones is in town! How would you like to go and see him?” They agreed to go, hoping they might get to meet him.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Tom Jones did in fact notice them from the stage and asked for them to be sent to his room. After a couple of drinks, he asked them if they would be into any hanky-panky, and one of them definitely was, but the other one not so much. Tom asked the other one what she likes doing, and she said she actually likes to play the trombone, so he picked one up from the horn section so she could keep herself amused while he had his way with the other one.

    A couple of years later, there was another ad in the paper that the twins saw, and one of them said, “Hey, would you like to go see Tom Jones again?”

    The other twin replied, “Do you think he would remember us?”

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  • The Potato in the Speedo

    A guy is having trouble getting women’s attention at the beach. He tells the lifeguard:

    “I’ve walked past every woman on this beach and none of them so much as glance my way. I’m even wearing my best Speedo to show off all the work I’ve put in at the gym. I don’t know what else to do.”

    The lifeguard says, “Oh, that’s easy! Just put a potato in your Speedo and you’ll have all their eyes glued on you. Trust me.”

    So the next day he does just that, and then goes to see the lifeguard:

    “Hey man, so I did get a lot of looks, but not quite what I was expecting. They all looked completely disgusted and appalled, and not turned on at all.”

    So the lifeguard looks down at his waist area:

    “Okay, well, I guess I should have specified — you have to put the potato in the front of your Speedo.”

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  • Keeps You Wet

    Keeps You Wet

    Get a man who keeps you wet.

  • Never Heard of Herbivore

    Never Heard of Herbivore

    I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants.

    You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

  • I Already Have That One

    I Already Have That One

    I’m addicted to collecting Beatles Albums

    It sounds like you need help

    No, I already have that one

  • Bacon Cheeseburgers Are Made

    Bacon Cheeseburgers Are Made

    For you city folks, this is how bacon cheeseburgers are made.

  • Manual Manuel

    Manual Manuel

    You don’t have to laugh, but some of us are easily amused…

    Manual

    Manuel

  • Searched So Thoroughly Gold Watch

    Searched So Thoroughly Gold Watch

    ewilliams1: They searched him so thoroughly, they found a gold watch.

  • Keep People in the Dark

    My friends keep asking me how I’m able to save so much on my electric bill,

    but I’ll never tell because I like to keep people in the dark.