Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Painted It Black So It Would Run Faster

    I just bought a new laptop and painted it black so it would run faster…

    Instead, it just stopped working and stole all my data…

  • She Really Means Well

    My wife just yelled that I should “fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth filled with water and die.”

    I know she really means well.

  • Consumed by His Own Pride

    Did you hear about the arrogant lion tamer?

    He was consumed by his own pride.

  • Everything Before That Was a Blur

    One of my earliest childhood memories was visiting the eye doctor and getting my glasses.

    Everything before that was a blur.

  • Just Stationery

    I can’t figure out why my paper airplane won’t take off…

    I guess it’s just stationery.

  • How About Now

    My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”

    I replied, “No.”

    She responded, “How about now?”

  • Before the Crowbar Was Invented

    True fact:

    Before the crowbar was invented…
    …most crows drank at home.

  • Started to See a Little

    I said to my wife, “I want to marry another woman.” Just to see her reaction.

    On the first day, I saw nothing. Then on the second day, I still saw nothing. On the third day, I started to see a little with my left eye.

  • To Beat the Crowd

    Why do riot police go to work so early?

    To beat the crowd.

  • It Just Rolls Off the Tongue

    My favourite word is drool.

    It just rolls off the tongue.