Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Small World on the Golf Course

    Two guys are flying along the golf course, trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but they run into two terrible lady golfers on the 13th hole, who are playing painfully slow!

    The first guy says, “Why don’t you go over and ask if we can play through?”

    The second guy walks ahead, and gets about 50 yards from the terrible twosome, before quickly turning and coming back.

    The first guy says, “What’s wrong?”

    The second guy says, “You’re not gonna believe this, but the woman in the pink is my wife, and the one in yellow is my mistress.”

    The first guy says, “Wow, that’s not good. Let me give it a try.”

    So the first guy gets about halfway there, stops in his tracks, turns and comes back, too.

    The second guy says, “What’s wrong?”

    The first guy says, “It’s a small world!”

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  • Fart Football

    An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven points.”

    His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?” The old man replied, “It’s fart football.”

    A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

    After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.”

    Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

    Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.” Now the pressure is on for the old man.

    He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

    Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

    The wife says, “What the hell was that?”

    The old man says, “Half time, switch sides.”

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  • It’s Hard to Say

    I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire sauce.

    She asked what’s so special about it.

    “It’s hard to say,” I answered.

  • Vanished Without a Tres

    I recently attended a magic show in Mexico…

    The magician said, “Uno, dos,” and then vanished without a tres.

  • The Big Ass Grill

    A husband is out in the backyard with his wife, who is busy gardening.

    He’s feeling a bit mischievous and says, “You know, honey, your butt is getting so big, it’s starting to look like that BBQ grill over there.”

    The wife ignores him and keeps weeding. Later that night in bed, the husband starts making some romantic advances. His wife completely brushes him off and rolls over.

    “What’s wrong?” he asks, surprised.

    She replies, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”

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  • They Both Come in Olive Oil

    What does Popeye and a can of sardines have in common?

    They both come in olive oil.

  • Ten Bucks Same as Downtown

    A monk turns 18, so he leaves the monastery and travels to town for the very first time. He’s walking down the street, and a hooker says, “Hey father! How about a little head? Ten bucks.”

    Well, the monk doesn’t know what this means, so he goes scurrying back up to the monastery. He finds one of the nuns and says, “Sister, what’s ‘head’?”

    And she says, “Ten bucks, same as downtown.”

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  • Homeowner Has Meow In It

    Homeowner Has Meow In It

  • Thats Not Your Man Thats Garlic Bread

    Thats Not Your Man Thats Garlic Bread

  • Theres An I In Stupid Too The Trickster

    Theres An I In Stupid Too The Trickster