Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • From Chicken to Commitment: A Love Story

    Five years ago I started a game of Gay Chicken with my friend.
    Now we own a dog together, we moved to Vermont to start a cute little bed and breakfast, and we’re thinking of adopting a kid. If he doesn’t give up soon, I think he might actually be gay.

  • Size Matters: Love, Laughter, and Wardrobe Woes

    You know how your girlfriend is getting fat?
    She fits your wife’s clothes.

  • Listening: The Key to Conversation Survival!

    My wife screamed: ‘You haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?’
    What a weird way to start a conversation!

  • Unremovable Bra: The Ultimate Booby Trap!

    What do you call a bra that you can’t take off?
    A booby trap.

  • Seven Sins and a Sour Confession

    A gorgeous blonde goes into confession. “My boyfriend made love to me seven times last night”, she told the priest.
    “Drink the juice of seven lemons”, said the priest.
    “Will that absolve me of my sins?” she asked.
    “No, but it’ll wipe that smile off your face.”

  • An EpiPen Legacy: Love Beyond Allergies

    I inherited an EpiPen from my grandfather. He wanted me to get it. That was his dying wish.

    Weird, I know, I’m not even allergic.

  • Changing a flat tire

    A guy’s on the side of the highway changing a flat.

    A patrol car pulls up. The officer steps out and says, “Sir, we received a report of an emergency…”

    Before he can finish, another cruiser comes flying up from behind, speeding in the same direction. It slams on the brakes and skids in behind the first car. The second officer jumps out, a little out of breath. He takes one look around and says, “Oh… I thought…”

    Suddenly, from the opposite side of the highway, a third cruiser whips a U-turn across the median, sirens blaring, and screeches to a stop.

    The third officer jumps out and runs up. “Are there any left?”

    The first two silently point at the spare tire. The third officer squints at it.

    “We really need better descriptions from dispatch, this is not what I would call a donut emergency”

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  • Make out session

    I was right in the middle of a steamy make out session with a hot chick when she stops me and asks “do you have a condom?”

    “No” I say, and begrudgingly get my things together and head for the store.

    When I get there, find the condoms and I’m checking out, the clerk asks me, “Do you need a bag?”

    To which I reply, “She’s not that ugly!”

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  • Born or Built: The Mystery of Photographic Memory

    People with photographic memories…

    Are they born with it, or does it take time to develop?

  • Man goes to the dermatologist with a strange skin condition

    A man visits his dermatologist because his skin has become strangely pink and rubbery, like a ham. It’s like this all over his body.

    The doctor asks him if he has any clue what could have caused this change, and the man admits that he recently tried out a hygiene tip he read about online: rubbing salt all over himself and sleeping while covered in it.

    The man says “Surely there’s some way to fix this before it gets any worse?”

    The doctor just says “You’re already cured.”

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