Two dumb guys are walking down the street and see a dog licking himself
The one dumb guy goes, “I wish I could do that”
And the other dumb guy goes, “Maybe if you tried petting him first”
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Too Many Samples: A Sperm Bank Tale
I got fired because my boss said I was handing out too many free samples.
That’s the last time I get a job at a sperm bank.
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A Small Medium at Large
What do you call a psychic little person who escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
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Chemistry Humor: NaBrO to the Rescue!
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
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Pawsitively Mistaken: Cat Meds Gone Wrong!
I accidentally took my cat’s medication last night.
Don’t ask meow.
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Goodbye Taco Bell: Mr. Rice No More!
What did Alice Cooper say when he quit his job at Taco Bell?
No more Mr rice guy…
No more Mr beans and cheeheeheese -
Mormon and Irish
A Mormon and an Irishman were seated next to each other in First Class on a flight out of NYC.
Once the plane was airborne and the seat-belt sign was turned off, drink orders
were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was brought to him right away and placed in front of him. Then the flight attendant asked the Mormon what he was drinking, to which the Mormon replied, “I would rather be raped by 12 wild whores
than let demon liquor touch my lips.”The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Same here.
I didn’t know we had a choice.”
