[about to have sex]
her: ur so big
me: [putting my shirt back on] fuck u
Tone: self-deprecating
Self-deprecating humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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How’s It Hangin
If you ever make the grueling trek to speak to the wise old man who lives at the top of the mountain and he lets you ask one question of him, don’t make the mistake I did and blurt out, “How’s it hangin’?”
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Toilet-Training Transferability
As I watched my two-year-old drag his naked bottom across the carpet, I realized that perhaps I overestimated the transferability of the toilet-training skills I had initially honed with our puppies.
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Insufficient Funds ATM
I think banks should do a better job by keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fifth one I’ve been to, kept saying “insufficient funds” 🙄😐
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Stimulus Check Midget Hookers
Me when I realize I should have used my stimulus check on bills instead of midget hookers with pink wigs
Someday I’ll learn.
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Selling My Nudes
Times are tough so once again I will be selling my nudes.
$5 to get one
$25 not to get one
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The Eggnog Alibi
I miss the holidays. It’s the only time of year when you can get away with telling people that the stain on your dress is really eggnog.
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Depressed And Miserable
Last year I was miserable and depressed but this year I turned that shit around so I’m depressed and miserable now
