Today I bought two bananas, an apple, and a pack of cigarettes. The cashier looked at me and said, “You must be single, huh?” And I’m like, “How do you know that?”
She said, “Because you’re ugly.”
Tone: shocking
Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Brown and Rhymes with Snoop
A man got fired from his job for having sex during work hours. When his boss asked why he did it, the man replied, “I don’t know man, she was just lying there naked. I kinda got the hint so we fucked.”
He was never hired at another morgue again.
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Tired of Being Used
I just wanted to show her my memes. Next thing you know my weiner is in her mouth. I’m tired of being used.
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Mom Ordered Door Dash Again
Oh look, your mom ordered Door Dash again. 😈🤣
SEMEN
WTA GAGS.COM
WGS HI BLOW
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Your Son Is an Artist!
A man goes to school to have a meeting with his son’s teachers. He walks into the first classroom and says, “Hello, I’m Giotto’s father. Please excuse me if I sound a bit strange, but I burned my tongue yesterday.”
The teacher sighs and says, “Look, we really needed to talk to you. Your son is struggling. He doesn’t know his times tables, he doesn’t know the American states… he doesn’t even know which state he’s in right now! You really need to have a talk with him.”
“I’m so sorry,” the father replies. “I’ll speak with him tonight. But again, please forgive my speech; I really scorched my tongue.”
He then moves on to the art teacher’s office. “Hello, I’m Giotto’s father. Please excuse my voice, I burned my tongue yesterday.”
The art teacher beams. “Oh, don’t worry about that! I have to tell you, your son is a prodigy. He’s incredible! Just yesterday, he drew a basket of fruit so realistically that all the other children gathered around trying to pick a piece to eat!”
The father nods and says, “I know, I know… yesterday he drew a vagina on the stove.”
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The Elephant Trunk
A man goes to the doctor, absolutely desperate. He says, “Doc, I was in a horrible accident and lost my penis. I can’t live like this, you have to help me!”
The doctor says, “Good news, we have an experimental procedure. We take a baby elephant’s trunk, graft it on, and it works perfectly.”
The man agrees immediately. The surgery is a success.
Two months later, the man brings a beautiful woman home for a date. Things start heating up, and suddenly, the man feels a twitch in his pants. The trunk-penis is waking up.
As they are sitting there, the elephant trunk unzips his fly, creeps onto the table, reaches into the breadbasket, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back under the table.
The woman is stunned, her eyes wide.
“That was… amazing!” she says. “Can you do that again?”
The guy smiles, wincing in pain, and replies, “I’d love to, but I don’t think I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!”
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Could You Vape Semen
r/morbidquestions u/thatcatinthecorner 14h
Could you vape semen?
If it was watered down to the approximate thickness of fluid, could you vape semen?
192 60 Share
BEST COMMENTS
DrDank7 12h
Great now you’re making vaping even more gay
445
1simis 9h
It’s a double negative though so it cancels out
115
What_R_YOU_Doin_Here 6h
I don’t think that’s how this works. If you are giving a bj and taking it in the ass at the same time, does that make you straight?
18
WillBeamon 6h
Obviously
33
