True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to the bed and fuck your lights out.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of
My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of sex from the man with the world’s smallest penis. She didn’t know she had it in her.
-
The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra
The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra coffee and lotion delivered to my room, but, hey, I may be on vacation, but my penis isn’t!
-
Mr. and Mrs. Wood-Johnson sure dodged a bullet when they named
Mr. and Mrs. Wood-Johnson sure dodged a bullet when they named their son Robert instead of Richard.
-
Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off?
Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off? The toughest part is figuring out which sock puppet gets to do the deed.
-
My wife told me for her birthday, she wanted to have a threesome
My wife told me for her birthday, she wanted to have a threesome so she could experience a really big dick. Unfortunately, Simon Cowell is busy that night.
-
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m still not canceling the bird orgy.
-
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.
-
Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they
Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they run a business like everyone, but I still think hookers should at least give premature ejaculators a discount.
-
I don’t see the appeal to mind-blowing sex. During sex, it’s not
I don’t see the appeal to mind-blowing sex. During sex, it’s not my mind that I want blown.
