They don’t really want us to know it, but I’m sure that companies that design bathroom fixtures all have at least one guy whose job is to design fake poo for testing purposes.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I can’t decide who’s the bigger geek, the person who used “FF0000” for the vanity plate
I can’t decide who’s the bigger geek, the person who used “FF0000” for the vanity plate on their red car, or me because I knew that FF0000 is the hexadecimal value for red.
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This year, my resolution is for my neighbor to lose 30 pounds.
This year, my resolution is for my neighbor to lose 30 pounds. That way, come next January, *he’s* the slob with no willpower.
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It’s been said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac.
It’s been said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac. It’s true, women love guys who have power. They also seem to enjoy running water and central heating.
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Women are hard to figure out.
Women are hard to figure out. They love lingerie and they love garage sales, but they don’t seem to like getting garage-sale lingerie as a gift.
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While not well documented, I’d imagine there has to be *someone* of renown whose famous
While not well documented, I’d imagine there has to be *someone* of renown whose famous last words were “OHHHHH SHIT!!!”
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If I were that famed limerick guy from Nantucket, I’d have made a lucrative career for
If I were that famed limerick guy from Nantucket, I’d have made a lucrative career for myself in the adult entertainment industry. But I’d probably still do that other thing, too.
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Well, I killed my own grandfather and here I am!
Well, I killed my own grandfather and here I am! Guess there’s no paradox when time travel isn’t involved.
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I’m not on the award committee or anything, but I can pretty much guarantee a Nobel
I’m not on the award committee or anything, but I can pretty much guarantee a Nobel Prize to any scientist who makes cauliflower taste like bacon.
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Whenever I see that painting “The Scream,” I try to imagine that the man is wearing
Whenever I see that painting “The Scream,” I try to imagine that the man is wearing earphones and singing, because that way it looks like he’s having fun.
