One of my co-workers is sometimes sweet as pie and other times is a raging lunatic, but I’m weirdly attracted to her. I guess I’m bi-polar-curious.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Today I mixed laxative with nitrous oxide, just for shits and giggles.
Today I mixed laxative with nitrous oxide, just for shits and giggles.
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I’m thankful my roommate is a fellow wine lover.
I’m thankful my roommate is a fellow wine lover. Otherwise he’d probably rat out my “Butchered Hitchhiker Chardonnay” to the authorities.
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As much as there is no “I” in team, the next time management demands the workers do some
As much as there is no “I” in team, the next time management demands the workers do some stupid and demeaning job, they will find that “M & E” are down at the bar watching “T & A.”
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I can’t understand why my wife doesn’t enjoy my magnificent flatulence.
I can’t understand why my wife doesn’t enjoy my magnificent flatulence. After all, “I” makes the difference between “rectal” and “recital.”
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They say you can’t judge a book by its cover.
They say you can’t judge a book by its cover. However, based on the cover alone, you can judge if it’s a romance novel pretty much 100% of the time.
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“Thursday” is just another word for “penultimate day before we collectively bestow
“Thursday” is just another word for “penultimate day before we collectively bestow gratitude to our Creator on Facebook for the upcoming weekend.”
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I shot the sheriff.
I shot the sheriff. I also shot the deputy. And if the deputy had been wearing shoes, I’d have given them to the guy who was bitching because he had none. Then I would have taken him fishing. Hey, it’s not every day you can nail three cliches that easily.
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No matter how poor you are, you’re never too broke to afford a piece of cardboard and a
No matter how poor you are, you’re never too broke to afford a piece of cardboard and a magic marker.
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A talk with a child is cheaper than therapy — although if that’s your reason for
A talk with a child is cheaper than therapy — although if that’s your reason for talking to children, you should probably still get the therapy.
