Topic: business

Business jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

  • Increasing the GDP

    Two businessmen were walking down the street, when one of them spots a pile of dog shit on the ground.

    Being bored, he tells the other guy, “Hey, if you eat that, I’ll give you $10k right now.”

    Naturally, he plugs his nose and eats it. As promised, the first one pulls $10k out of his wallet and hands it over. It’s a big wallet, I guess.

    A mile later, they spot another pile. This time, the second businessman tells the first, “$10k to eat that right now!”

    Of course, the first one takes the deal. Easy money, right?

    They continue walking, and after a moment, the first one says, “You know, it occurs to me we both just ate dog shit, and we’re not a penny richer.”

    After a moment, the second one replies, “Yes, but we increased the GDP by $20k.”

  • Make Hens Meet

    I used to run a dating service for chickens but I had to shut it down.

    I struggled to make hens meet.

  • What the Hell Is a Pinata

    Al and Joe are bungee jumping one day.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
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    Al says to Joe, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. They don’t have it there.”

    Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they’ll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

    They travel to Mexico and begin setting up in the square. As they construct the tower, a crowd assembles. More and more people gather to watch.

    When they finish, the crowd is so large they decide to give a demonstration.

    Al jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, Joe notices cuts and scratches.

    Joe fails to catch him. Al falls again, bounces, and comes up bruised and bleeding. Joe misses him again.

    Al falls once more and bounces back up, this time badly injured with broken bones and nearly unconscious. Joe finally catches him and says, “What happened? Was the cord too long?”

    Barely able to speak, Al gasps, “No, the bungee cord was fine. It was the crowd. What the hell is a piñata?”

  • I Could See Myself Working There

    They’re building a mirror factory in my town.

    I could see myself working there.