What’s the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer?
A prostitute will stop screwing you after you’re dead.
Topic: death
Death jokes, funeral humor, grim memes, and mortality-themed laughs for anyone coping with existence through deeply inappropriate timing.
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Man goes to the dermatologist with a strange skin condition
A man visits his dermatologist because his skin has become strangely pink and rubbery, like a ham. It’s like this all over his body.
The doctor asks him if he has any clue what could have caused this change, and the man admits that he recently tried out a hygiene tip he read about online: rubbing salt all over himself and sleeping while covered in it.
The man says “Surely there’s some way to fix this before it gets any worse?”
The doctor just says “You’re already cured.”
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Stuck in Ink: An Invisible Emergency!
I accidentally swallowed a bottle of invisible ink.
Now I am in the ER waiting to be seen.
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Diarrhea Awareness Week: Knowledge is Power!
Diarrhea Awareness starts on Monday.
Runs through Friday.
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From Despair to Hope: A Healing Shift
I woke up this morning and I felt so bad that I tried to kill myself by taking a thousand aspirin.
But after the first two, I felt better.
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Gym Woes: Broken Machines and No Treats!
I went to the gym the other day and my favorite machine was broken.
I couldn’t get any chocolate or Coke or anything.
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Dark Humor: The Baby Float Recipe!
How do you make a dead baby float?
One can of root beer, one scoop of vanilla, and two scoops of dead baby.
