Topic: food

Food jokes, snack memes, kitchen crimes, restaurant disasters, and edible nonsense for people who laugh first and check expiration dates later.

  • Sweet Escape: Oreo Edition

    Sweet Escape: Oreo Edition

  • Spreads Like a Bargain, Tastes Better

    Spreads Like a Bargain, Tastes Better

  • The last soup

    As the dingy, small restaurant is about to close, a customer rushed through the door and said: “Please, I am starving, I will order anything you have or anything easy to make. Plus a soup.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The waiter replied: “Sure, we have some rotisserie chicken that we can bring to you, but we are all out of soup.” Pointing to the corner of the restaurant, he said, “That gentleman ordered the last one.”

    The last customer then noticed a lone, sad looking man sitting at a small table with his head down, with a full bowl of soup in front of him. After contemplating a bit, he asked in a gentle voice: “Sir, I noticed that you have not eaten your soup. If you don’t mind, may I have it?”

    The sad man silently moved the dish with bowl of soup and soup spoon towards the direction of the last customer.

    “Thank you, thank you!” the last customer took the soup back to his table and started eagerly eating it… until he noticed the dead rat at bottom of the bowl.

    Totally disgusted by what he saw and ate, he vomited violently, back into the bowl. finally, after he calmed down, wiped tears off his eyes and dabbed the corner of his mouth with a napkin, he noticed the sad man looking mournfully at him.

    “I know, that’s what I did too.” The sad man said.

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  • Half a Worm: The Ultimate Disappointment!

    What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    Finding half a worm.

  • Cheese Wheel Tragedy: A Wedding Day Disaster

    A wedding photographer was today tragically crushed by a 200lb wheel of cheese that fell off the catering truck.
    The guests all tried to warn him.

  • You are a very sick man

    A doctor says grimly to a patient, “You are a very sick man. You’ve been diagnosed with covid, monkey pox, swine flu, Ebola, and bubonic plague all at the same time.”

    “Is there anything that can be done to help me?” asks the patient.

    “Amazingly, there is though it may be touch and go,” says the doctor nervously. “First, we’ll put you in a private room where you’ll have everything you need to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. Next, we’ll put you on a diet of pancakes, pizza and flounder.”

    “Okay…” says the patient, “But why pancakes, pizza and flounder?”

    “Because,” the doctor says, “That’s the only food we can push under your door.”

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  • Cheese Wheel Tragedy: A Photographer’s Last Shot

    A wedding photographer was today tragically crushed by a 200lb wheel of cheese that fell off the catering truck.

    The guests all tried to warn him…

  • Gym Woes: Broken Machines and No Treats!

    I went to the gym the other day and my favorite machine was broken.

    I couldn’t get any chocolate or Coke or anything.

  • Blonde in a library

    A blonde walked into a library, marched up to the counter, and said, “I’d like a Big Mac combo meal with large fries and a Diet Coke.”

    The librarian said, “Excuse me! This is a library!”

    The blonde then whispered, “Sorry… I’d like a Big Mac combo meal with large fries and a Diet Coke.”

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  • Polish Sausage

    I walked up to the counter and said, “Yeah, I’ll take a Polish sausage.”

    The guy behind the counter squints at me and asks, “Are you Polish?”

    I’m immediately offended.

    “What kind of question is that? If I ordered a bratwurst, would you assume I’m German? If I asked for a Belgian waffle, would that make me Belgian? Dumplings — Chinese? What exactly made you think I was Polish?”

    He leans in, lowers his voice, and says,

    “Sir… this is a hardware store.”

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