I don’t enjoy music without lyrics. It just doesn’t speak to me.
Topic: food
Food jokes, snack memes, kitchen crimes, restaurant disasters, and edible nonsense for people who laugh first and check expiration dates later.
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I asked a friend about potassium-rich fruit
I asked a friend, “Did you know that there’s a fruit that gives you your entire potassium requirement for the day?”
He said: “Yeah, that’s bananas.”
I responded: “I know. I was shocked too.” -
Silver-Haired Lady and the Jigsaw Puzzle
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over and help me. I have a jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”
Her neighbor asks, “What’s it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
“According to the picture on the box,” she replies, “it’s a rooster.”
The neighbor decides to help. He comes over, and she shows him the puzzle pieces spread all over the kitchen table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, looks at the box, then back at the table.
Finally, he smiles, gently takes her hand, and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re never going to turn these pieces into a rooster.”
“Second, let’s make ourselves a nice cup of tea…”
“…and then we’ll put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
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Dry Salads
I am told that the salads I make tend to be a bit on the “dry” side.
It’s definitely something that needs addressing.
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Spreading Butter
Getting a woman to spread her legs is a lot like spreading butter on bread…
You can do it with a credit card, but it’s easier with a knife.
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One for the Road
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says to the bartender, “Two beers please. One for me, and one for the road.”
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The Wurst Is Yet to Come
I ordered some German food from DoorDash. The sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come.
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Up to My Chin Should Do It
A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, “Try a milk bath.”
So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a bath. The dairy guy asks, “You want that pasteurized?”
“Nah,” the man replies. “Up to my chin should do it.”
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Dont Fill Up On Bread Super Confusing
Don’t hand me a basket of bread and then immediately be like “don’t fill up on bread,” that’s super confusing and I don’t need that stress in my life.
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Soup or Ahi Frozen Fish Sticks
What did Mary Poppins like for dinner?
Soup or ahi frozen fish sticks, ex peas, all delicious.
