Language Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Full Groan

A PUN HAS NOT COMPLETELY MATURED UNTIL IT IS FULL GROAN

BEHOLD THE FIELD IN WHICH I GROW MY FUCKS LOOK THOU VPON IT AND THOU SHALT SEE THAT IT IS BARREN.

The Top 16 Euphemisms for Masturbation

16. Lap-based web browsing

15. Gettin’ some air nookie

14. Wrangling the invertebrate serpent

13. Tango Con Mano

12. Jostling your Elder

11. Ruminating & Pondering

10. Shaking your fist at the ex-girlfriend

9. Releasing the hostages

8. Tickling your Elmo

7. Fixing the Hubble

6. Putting the seminal luge team through their paces

5. Carnal Tunnel Syndrome

4. Beda-testing the hardware

3. Downloading from your own website

2. Evicting the testicular squatters

1. Manually Increasing the Surface Temperature of the Ship’s Primary Cannon by Repeated Linear Manipulation

[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com ]

I have always wanted to own a pure bread horse

MEANWHILE

IN A REMOTE PART OF THE DESERT

PARTIAL ARTS

When you realise that the shovel was literally a groundbreaking invention

Interesting fact: t-shirt is actually short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt

Because of the short arms.

When you realise everyone in the Marvel Universe speaks English, which means that Britain must’ve colonised the entire universe

*Laughs in British*

I’ve been spelling Erica wrong my entire life.

AIRWRECKA McBRIDE – PARENT