Never date a chick that works at subway
She knows what 6 inches really looks like
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
A young wife, freshly shaved, walks out of her bathroom into the master bedroom.
She lifts her teddy, revealing nothing underneath, licks her lips, winks, and says, “Sweetie, you know what this means, don’t you.”
Her young husband replies, “Yes, damn it, I am gonna have to spend all weekend unclogging the shower drain.”
A man walks into a confessional.
“Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. I am 75 years old, and I’ve recently started dating a 25-year-old woman. She’s drop dead gorgeous, loves sex, and is unbelievable in bed. We have sex at least three or four times a day, and each time, I make her scream like a banshee.”
“Oh my! This is indeed a sin. As penance, you must say five Hail Marys and five Our Fathers every day for the next week.”
“What? I can’t do that, I’m Jewish!”
“You’re Jewish? Then why are you telling ME?”
“I’m telling EVERYBODY!”