Topic: relationships

Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.

  • Kissed In Sleep Prison

    Kissed In Sleep Prison

    being kissed in your sleep is.. like.. the purest form of love

    Unless you are home alone

    Or in prison.

  • I’m Telling EVERYBODY!

    A man walks into a confessional.

    “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. I am 75 years old, and I’ve recently started dating a 25-year-old woman. She’s drop dead gorgeous, loves sex, and is unbelievable in bed. We have sex at least three or four times a day, and each time, I make her scream like a banshee.”

    “Oh my! This is indeed a sin. As penance, you must say five Hail Marys and five Our Fathers every day for the next week.”

    “What? I can’t do that, I’m Jewish!”

    “You’re Jewish? Then why are you telling ME?”

    “I’m telling EVERYBODY!”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Four Months Vacation and Five Good Leads

    A guy at confession says to the priest: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

    The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

    “Yes, Father, it is.”

    “And who was the girl you were with?”

    “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

    “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

    “I cannot say.”

    “Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

    “I’ll never tell.”

    “Was it Nina Capelli?”

    “I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

    “Was it Cathy Piriano?”

    “My lips are sealed.”

    “Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

    “Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

    The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

    Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

    “Four months vacation and five good leads!”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail
  • Likes It Rough

    Likes It Rough

    When she says she likes it rough but starts crying when you kick her in the head

  • Load In The Dishwasher

    Load In The Dishwasher

    Stop it. I’m trying to put a load in the dishwasher

    Yeah…Me Too!

  • Fat Bottomed Girls Freddie

    Fat Bottomed Girls Freddie

    Her: He’s probably thinking about fat bottomed girls

    Him:

  • Alakazam Let Me Slam

    Alakazam Let Me Slam

    Me: wanna fuck? 👀

    Her: Why do u have to say it like that? Its supposed to be a magical moment

    Me: Alakazam let me slam

  • Sits On Face Sideways

    Sits On Face Sideways

    When she sits on your face sideways

  • Four Inches Is A Lot

    Four Inches Is A Lot

    Crush: I just cut off four inches of my hair

    Me: so

    Crush: four inches is a lot

    Me:

  • Spice Things Up Bedroom

    Spice Things Up Bedroom

    I want to spice things up.

    But you know that I’m allergic to chilli.

    I mean in the bedroom.

    I can’t eat them anywhere in the house, Alice.