Topic: relationships

Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.

  • Chloroform Aromatherapy

    Chloroform Aromatherapy

    It’s called chloroform … you’ll love it. It’s like aromatherapy but without all the struggling.

  • Broken Condoms Couch

    Broken Condoms Couch

    Him: Why are broken condoms on the couch?

    Her: Would you PLEASE start using our children’s real names?

  • Potato Peeler Thing

    Potato Peeler Thing

    Have you seen that potato peeler thing?

    She left you two days ago.

  • Heelys Dick

    Heelys Dick

    when you said you was gonna stop sucking dick but u see a nigga wearing heelys

  • Nothing Would Please Me More

    Nothing Would Please Me More

    Husband: I’m getting you diamonds for our anniversary

    Wife: Nothing would please me more

    Husband: *Gets her nothing instead*

  • Subway 6 Inches

    Subway 6 Inches

    Never date a chick that works at subway

    She knows what 6 inches really looks like

  • Not Good Enough For Her Family

    A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says…

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Wait, honey, there’s somethin’ I need you to know. I’m a virgin.”

    “WHAT THE FOOK?” The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out.

    He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her daddy’s house, where he dumps her in the yard.

    Then the man drives to his daddy’s house and goes inside.

    The dad sees his son, and says, “What the hell you doin’ here, boy? Ain’t you supposed to be with your new bride?”

    “Well, pa,” the son says, “I was, but she told me she’s still a virgin.”

    “Well holy dog-shit,” says the dad, “What’d you do then?”

    “I punched her in the face and knocked her out, wrapped her up in the sheets, drug her down the stairs and out the door, threw her in the back of my pick up, and then drove on to her daddy’s house and dumped her on the lawn.”

    The dad starts laughing, and, patting his son on the back, he says, “Good job, son. If she ain’t good enough for her family, I say she ain’t good enough for ours neither.”

  • 7 Antibiotics

    7 Antibiotics

    I gave you everything

    I know. I’m on 7 antibiotics

  • The Shower Drain

    A young wife, freshly shaved, walks out of her bathroom into the master bedroom.

    She lifts her teddy, revealing nothing underneath, licks her lips, winks, and says, “Sweetie, you know what this means, don’t you.”

    Her young husband replies, “Yes, damn it, I am gonna have to spend all weekend unclogging the shower drain.”

  • Kissed In Sleep Prison

    Kissed In Sleep Prison

    being kissed in your sleep is.. like.. the purest form of love

    Unless you are home alone

    Or in prison.