Ladies, it’s important that you pay attention to the idioms you use when speaking to your man. There’s a subtle but crucial difference between telling him you’re planning to “blow him off” and “blow him.”
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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But in the end, it’s always my dick that somehow ends up
But in the end, it’s always my dick that somehow ends up grabbing my attention. (Jim Woodruff My new girlfriend is the sexiest woman in the world: big firm breasts, gorgeous eyes and lips, luscious curving hips, long and thick peni– hey, wait just a fucking minute! Oh, my god. I can’t believe this! She totally forgot to wish me a happy one-week anniversary!
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There are no three words in the English language sexier or more
There are no three words in the English language sexier or more romantic than those three that every woman longs to hear a man say: “I’d hit that!”
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My boyfriend keeps saying he wants to fuck me silly. That’s
My boyfriend keeps saying he wants to fuck me silly. That’s ridiculous — I’m already silly.
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What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.
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Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you
Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you thinking about right now?” RIGHT answer: “Not much. just how much I love you.” CORRECT answer: “How much I love you giving it to Taylor Swift with a Hello Kitty strap-on in a kiddie pool full of tapioca pudding in my fantasies.”
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Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
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Boyfriends are like used car salesmen: They lie, they scam, and
Boyfriends are like used car salesmen: They lie, they scam, and they fuck your brains out in the backseat.
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I picked my fiance’s wedding party very carefully: someone old,
I picked my fiance’s wedding party very carefully: someone old, someone new, someone borrowed and someone I blew.
