Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Abstinence makes the part grow longer.
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a
I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a fight, I can piss them off by saying, “We’re not currently seeing tit-to-eye.”
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I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some
I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some fun. I don’t, however, want to bang that bike-racing dude with one nut.
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I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least
I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least expected it. Big deal — sounds like every man I ever dated.
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While talking about our relationship, I told my wife that a pack
While talking about our relationship, I told my wife that a pack of wild horses couldn’t drag me away. However, under cross examination I had to admit that a pack of wild whores probably could.
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Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new
Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new iPhone. He loves it, but my husband complains that it’s not easy holding the phone during sex.
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It’s tough being on the road so much, away from my wife and
It’s tough being on the road so much, away from my wife and family. However, it helps me to listen to Journey’s “Faithfully” while I’m driving one home in the Motel 6 cleaning lady.
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American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle
American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle down, I’ll be looking for a woman who hails from Nicerackistan.
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I like my women like I like my fastballs: high and tight
I like my women like I like my fastballs: high and tight.
