Relationships Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Baby Shower So Fucking Clean

My girlfriend’s been at a baby shower for like 3 hours that baby’s gotta be so fucking clean by now what the fuck are they even doing

Divorce Courtney Love

That face you make when you try to divorce Courtney Love

Then You Came to the Right Guy

Hey girl you want some good sex?

No

Then you came to the right guy

A Little Fuck

A midget is walking along a path when a beautiful blonde comes walking by in the other direction.

He says, “Hey beautiful, what do you say to a little fuck?”

And she says, “Hello, you little fuck.”

Halloween Dinner

I told my wife I’m going to take us out to a nice restaurant this Halloween.

Wife: Which restaurant?

Me: No, I think it’s run by vampires.

You Must Be Single

Today I bought two bananas, an apple, and a pack of cigarettes. The cashier looked at me and said, “You must be single, huh?” And I’m like, “How do you know that?”

She said, “Because you’re ugly.”

Tired of Being Used

I just wanted to show her my memes. Next thing you know my weiner is in her mouth. I’m tired of being used.

Here Comes Trouble

Dad one sees dad two:

“oh no! here comes trouble!”

Dad two: “oh boy they let you out of the house?!”

Dads:

Nose Grazes the Butt-Clit

When she’s slurping your meat from behind and her nose grazes your butt-clit ever so gently

I’m gonna squirt!

Math Textbook Problems

Him: Damn girl are you a math textbook?

Her: No why?

Him: Cuz you have a lot of fuckin problems

@Gucci_Gameboy @Donny_Drama

Topic: relationships