Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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2 Minutes of the Neatest Wienering She’s Ever Received
When you’re giving her 2 minutes of the neatest wienering she’s ever received
@pacificfintess
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Nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me
I shot the sheriff and the deputy.
Now there’s nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me from being together! -
Neurosurgeon Girlfriend
I had to break up with my neurosurgeon girlfriend. She was messing with my head.
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The Sax
I really want to break up with my jazz musician girlfriend, but I can’t.
The sax is too good.
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What Makes You Think We’re Having Sex Tonight? I’m Stronger Than You.
What makes you think we’re having sex tonight?
I’m stronger than you.
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Wife Gave Birth – How Soon Can We Have Sex? I’m Off Duty in Ten Minutes
My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”
He winked at me and said, “I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park.”
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Can You Take Our Picture? Move a Little to Your Right… Perfect
couple: “can you take our picture?”
me: “sure. can you move a little to your right? a little more. perfect.”
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Got Her an Identical Dog to Cheer Her Up – What Am I Supposed to Do With 2 Dead Dogs?
My girlfriend’s dog died
I get her an identical one to help cheer her up
Her: What TF am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs?
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Love Do You Want Kids? Absolutely Not – Children We Need to Talk
Love, do you want kids?
Absolutely Not
Me Neither
Children, we need to talk
