Dog: You are my life. My purpose. I will do anything for you
Human: Drop the ball
Dog: Go fuck yourself
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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When You Have to Hold Her Like This at Night Because She Steals
When you have to hold her like this at night because she steals
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It’s Called Chloroform – Aromatherapy Without All the Struggling
It’s called chloroform… you’ll love it. It’s like aromatherapy but without all the struggling.
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So Dracula Won’t Try to Eat My Ass – Garlic in My Pants
m@thew @TweetPotato314
wife: why r u putting garlic in ur pants
me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass
wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass
me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening
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When You Said You Were a Monster in Bed But Didn’t Get Specific
When you said you were a monster in bed, but didn’t get specific
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Bulldozer
My wife is learning how to operate a bulldozer.
I’m not going to stand in her way.
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Samantha 25 – I Like It Rough
Done
Samantha, 25
5 miles away Active 1 day ago
About Samantha
I like it rough.
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Banging This Hot Chick on Her Kitchen Table – Quick Try the Backdoor
I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open
She said “it’s my husband! Quick, try the backdoor!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don’t get offers like that every day.
