Topic: relationships

Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.

  • Apple Surprise: The Bartender’s Magic Trick!

    A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender for a gin and tonic. The bartender reaches under the counter and hands him an apple. The man is confused. He says, “I asked for a gin and tonic.”

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    The bartender says, “Try it. Trust me.”

    The man takes a bite and chews it, then he looks surprised.

    “Wow, this tastes just like gin!” he says.

    The bartender says, “Now turn it around.”

    The man turns the apple around and takes another bite. “Wow, this tastes like tonic!”

    A second man walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for a rum and coke. The bartender reaches under the counter and hands him an apple. The second man says, “I asked for a rum and coke.”

    The bartender says, “Try it. Trust me.”

    The man takes a bite and chews it, then he looks surprised. “Wow, this tastes like rum!”

    The bartender says, “Now turn it around.”

    The man turns the apple around and takes another bite. “Wow, this tastes like coke!”

    A third man walks up to the bar and asks the bartender if he has anything special. The first man says, “This guy has magic apples that taste like anything you want!”

    The third man is intrigued. He asks the bartender, “Do you have an apple that tastes like pussy?”

    The bartender chuckles, reaches under the counter, and hands him an apple. The third man eagerly bites into the apple, chews, then spits it out. “This tastes like shit!” he says.

    The bartender says, “Turn it around.”

  • Doctor’s Exam: A Hands-On Approach!

    A guy goes to the doctor, and the doctor says, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but you need to stop masturbating.”

    The guy says, “Why?”

    And the doctor says, “So I can examine you.”

  • A pain in the ass

    My wife and I tried anal.
    She loved it, but for me, it was a pain in the ass.

  • Well, that didn’t work

    My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…

    I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.

    She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.

    After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”