Topic: sex

Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.

  • Four Months Vacation and Five Good Leads

    A guy at confession says to the priest: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

    The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

    “Yes, Father, it is.”

    “And who was the girl you were with?”

    “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

    “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

    “I cannot say.”

    “Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

    “I’ll never tell.”

    “Was it Nina Capelli?”

    “I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

    “Was it Cathy Piriano?”

    “My lips are sealed.”

    “Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

    “Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

    The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

    Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

    “Four months vacation and five good leads!”

  • Sperm Bank Towel

    Sperm Bank Towel

    The moment you realize a sperm bank pays a shot……

    …and you have a towel worth $1800 at home

  • Monster In Bed Not Specific

    Monster In Bed Not Specific

    When you said you were a monster in bed, but didn’t get specific

  • Likes It Rough

    Likes It Rough

    When she says she likes it rough but starts crying when you kick her in the head

  • Multiple Personality Anal

    Multiple Personality Anal

    Her. I have multiple personality disorder

    Him: Do any of them like anal?

  • Alakazam Let Me Slam

    Alakazam Let Me Slam

    Me: wanna fuck? 👀

    Her: Why do u have to say it like that? Its supposed to be a magical moment

    Me: Alakazam let me slam

  • Sexual Innuendos Hard

    Sexual Innuendos Hard

    I TRY TO AVOID MAKING SEXUAL INNUENDOS

    BUT IT’S HARD

  • Sits On Face Sideways

    Sits On Face Sideways

    When she sits on your face sideways

  • Dear Lord Look Away

    Dear Lord Look Away

    Dear Lord. If you could just look away for 2 minutes.

  • Home Alone With My Penis

    Home Alone With My Penis

    When I’m home alone with my penis