Sex Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Heroin Balloon Butt

When you’re fucking a girl in the butt and a balloon of heroin plops out

Don’t mind if I do.

DEEP THOUGHT: Why is spicy the only flavor my butt can detect?

Why can’t I eat pancakes and then 14 hours later be like OOH PANCAKES AGAIN

I want to spice things up.

But you know that I’m allergic to chilli.

I mean in the bedroom.

I can’t eat them anywhere in the house, Alice.

I’D LIKE THE PORN IN MY ROOM TO BE DISABLED

WE ONLY HAVE REGULAR PORN YOU SICK BASTARD

[about to have sex]

her: ur so big

me: [putting my shirt back on] fuck u

My hand right after I wake up in the morning:

On my way woody!

The only chick you can fuck raw dog without having to worry about paying child support

Had to fight some 16 year old kid for this at the farmers market today.👍

BRYAN COUNTY JAIL

WOMAN IN BRYAN COUNTY SUCKS OFF MAN’S PENIS

Doyle Hargraves

HOW MUCH IS HER BOND?

A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating.

“Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked.

“They’re mating,” her father replied.

“What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?” she asked.

“That’s a daddy longlegs,” her father answered.

“So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?” the little girl asked.

“No,” her father replied. “Both of them are daddy longlegs.”

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat.

“Well, we’re not having THAT sort of thing in OUR garden!”