Sex Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Boobs and Scotch

What do boobs and scotch have in common?

One is not enough and three is too many.

A mother and father are digging through their son’s room looking for drugs. The father finds a box full of leather, chains, and S&M magazines.

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.

Mother: Oh my god! What do we do?

Father: Whatever you do, don’t fucking spank him.

I hate shower sex.

It’s slippery, awkward, and one of the worst things about prison.

They finished your mom’s dildo.

I’m not saying she is a whore, but if dicks had wings, her mouth would be an airport.

priests gone wild

‘Top’ church official says gay sex within the Vatican has ‘never been worse’

I hope they start having better sex, what a shame

I think my porn was not completely downloaded

Getting a woman to spread her legs is a lot like spreading butter on bread…

You can do it with a credit card, but it’s easier with a knife.

I wonder what she’s up to?

It was 10 years ago today my best mate James came running out of the room shouting, “It’s a boy!” with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand.