Topic: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

  • See A Hole Fill A Hole

    See A Hole Fill A Hole

  • Cucumbers Good For Memory

    Cucumbers Good For Memory

  • Gabriels Trumpet

    When it was finally her turn to take care of the elderly Father Sands, the novice Jenny was taken aside by the Mother Superior.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “I must warn you,” the older woman said, “that although Father Sands is old in body, he is young at heart. It is important that when you give him his bath, you never look below his waist. Otherwise, he will become very excited.”

    With that, Jenny went to look after the aged priest. Later, sobbing, Jenny sought out the Mother Superior.

    “Forgive me,” the novice said, “but when I was bathing Father Sands, I — I looked down. As you said, he became aroused.”

    “And what happened?”

    “I — I lay with him. He said that I would surely go to heaven if I let him put his key to the gates of St. Peter in my lock.”

    “Why, that old bastard!” the Mother Superior fumed. “For years he’s been telling me it’s Gabriel’s trumpet!”

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  • If Your Girlfriend Starts Smoking

    If your girlfriend starts smoking….

    …slow down, and use a lubricant.

  • I Cant Do That

    Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup. As he is being looked over, the doctor asks about his stuttering. After considerable effort, he was able to tell the doctor that it started shortly after reaching puberty. The doctor asks him to drop his pants and underwear, at which point he sees the patient has an exceptionally large member. The doctor picks it up and asks the man if he feels any better. The patient clearly replies with no stutter that he feels great. The doctor tells him the weight is putting stress on his diaphragm, making it hard to move air in and out of his lungs, causing the stutter. The doctor says he can correct the problem but will have to replace his manhood with a smaller but still functional penis. The guy agrees to have it done because he is tired of the looks and insults he gets from strangers.

    A couple days later he storms into the doctor’s office and, with perfect diction, asks the doctor to give back his old penis or his girlfriend will leave him.

    The doctor replies, “I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-so sorry. I-I-I c-c-ca-can-can’t do that.”

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  • Learn to Write With Your Other Hand

    A teacher sternly informs her class that no excuse, from a papercut to the plague, is acceptable for missing a final exam.

    When students suggest scenarios like car issues or roadblocks, she tells them to walk or find a detour.

    Finally, a student asks what to do in the case of “extreme sexual exhaustion”?

    To which the teacher deadpans, “You’ll just have to learn to write with your other hand.”

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  • Rain Got Me All Wet

    Rain Got Me All Wet

  • Want To Fuck Her Badly

    Want To Fuck Her Badly

  • Your Mom Gave It To Me

    Your Mom Gave It To Me

  • A MILF Shake

    What’s the term for getting a handjob from a single mom?

    A MILF shake.